Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Out takes from the Decider Column

Some stuff doesn't make it in the column I write for Decider. Most of the time it's due to space/length concerns or I'm not making any sense. Probably the latter.

So if something doesn't make the cut that I felt was particularly witty, I'm going to post it as a bonus. Bonus may be too strong a word. Yard clippings may work better.

This paragraph hit the editing room floor and I felt it was appropriate if you plan on following Mark Sanchez in the NFL next season. It would have been the second to last paragraph:

See? There you go. I did it now too. How does Sanchez deal with his name being associated with such a spirited act? The good looking, athletic QB looks like the last person who would perpetrate such a cowardly denouement on a sex partner, yet he will be saddled with the label by internet cretins every time he fucks up. He might as well just adopt a finger wipe across the upper lip as his signature move every time he throws a touch down because if he can’t control it, he might as well make it his own. Yes, kids all across America will be doing a new touchdown celebration this fall that will make T.O.’s antics seem quaint and tame.

SOLID GOLD! I know someone is going to break this out next year and I wanted to get my name down as the genius who came up with it first.


Decider: Sanchez too dirty for Broncos

new column:


Friday, April 24, 2009


Rocky just pantomimed to a pregnant woman that he wasn't the father of her child.